i'm a gemini, which means i'm never going to be able to stick with one style forever. i need variety. (anyone who has seen my hair over the last five years knows that very well!) my problem is that chopping is such a major change! it's never been a problem to get a haircut or dye my hair, but cutting off dreads that have been three years in the making is major! especially since they are spiritual to me. but i figure that i took out many piercings after getting married because i felt i was at a new level in my growth, and i feel much the same way here....i'm a mom now, and somehow looking the way i did before i was a mom feels weird. i look much different on the outside than i feel on the inside, and i'm big on outward self-expression. i know i'd miss my dreads terribly, and i'd probably go through a period of feeling loss and sadness, but i also feel that it may be necessary to go through that to get somewhere else. my self-esteem isn't great, whereas when i dreaded up three years ago, it was much higher. (fyi: my self-esteem isn't tied to how i look, but how i look is demonstrative of my self-esteem. i think this may be why my dreads have gotten ratty looking lately.) i think that acknowledging the change that has occured inside of me in an outward manner could help my self-esteem. by this i mean change.
i know it might seem silly to make such a big fuss over hair.....i mean, it's just hair, right? but somehow dreads are more than just hair. either way, it is a spiritual decision. i was curious about the physical aesthetics and people's opinions, and that factors in a bit, but it's not all there is. i think i'll go eat some food and consult the Zen Tarot.
thank you all again!
(crossposted in my personal journal)