December 23rd, 2002


yo to everybody - our civilization's most celebrated holiday is upcoming....on wednesday, it will be another year passed since thelast celebration of a supposed son of a supposed creator of a supposed universe. One day, christianity will be looked back on by either the more intelligent scientists of the future, who have abandoned religion to those weak - minded people who need it to serve as a crutch; or by those weak - minded who have just abandoned christianity to a new fanatical religion created to help explain all that we do not understand.

We live our lives happily in our time, but it is a sad thought that our civilization will be gone one day, there is no doubt about it. On the other hand, I will die long before the earth does, and most likely long before our society crumbles, or topples as the case may be.

HA! a world without me! scarcely imaginable, since I am the only thing in the world that I know.
  • Current Music
    Queen - Killer Queen
a visual representation of my inner chil

oh my

this community is fucking awesome. thank you all so much for your replies to my post before. but now, we're in to much larger matters....

uh oh; help. first day of new dreads. just finished around 8pm. here's the problem: i'm scared shitless. i look like a spider and the stickiness associated with merely touching my hair is too much for obsessive compulsive existence. now i feel like everything is sticky. and like i have way less hair on my head than i should. and like the dreads should definately be thinner, 'cause.... maybe i'd feel less weird about it? i keep telling myself to shut up. i keep thinking, "they'll mature and they'll be fabulous and they'll look great". right now, there's a rubber band by the root, the end, and in the middle. due to my thick-curly condition to begin with, the 'dreads' are quite poofy. the middle rubber band causes them to bulge and look like... something awful. again, i'm trying to hold my breath. but, see.... i do have very nice hair. it's my best asset and i'm lacking good assets these days.

should i take a backwards leap and make an appointment somewhere to try to salvage my curly locks, or should i shut the fuck up and weather the storm 'cause they'll turn out great and be worth it and it'd hurt the feelings of the kid who did 'em? i'm torn and miserable when i put on my glasses and find that they can't rest plainly on my ears like they always did, without pulling something. thinking about how that guy i like so very much mentioned something about how white people with dreads look stupid (yes, i know, it's pathetic), and all sorts of other mixed emotions to fuck myself up.

please; flood me with pro's. teach me to be patient. voice your honest opinion. give me ideas of what to do with it while it's maturing to not look like an idiot/spider. and, most of all, techniques! it sounds horribly sad, but i still don't exactly know what palmrolling is. or knotting? all this kid did was twist and backcomb and rub in wax. he rolled them a little between his palms, but not much -- and it didn't seem like it would do anything.

i don't know, this is exactly what i was afraid of. help.