November 18th, 2004

(no subject)

I know this is going to sound absolutely shallow, but I still feel it.

I took two of my dreads out tonight, because honestly mine are terrible. I figured I would just indulge in my anxiety and ripped them out. I was happy at first but as soon as I looked at pictures of me with my dreads, the two I ripped out, I felt sick. I almost pathetically wanted to cry.

Really I am so afraid of not having them. Ever since I have, I have never gotten so many compliments, I have never had people be more curious in who I am some even say they cant remember me without them. All in all I feel more secure, more attractive, more like me. I have such low self esteem that when I actually do feel good about myself it is very rare.

I dont want to go back to the way I looked before, the way I felt before..yet I shouldnt have dreads to act as a blanket for my insecurities. Plus the first reason I took them out, my dreads are really terrible.

I am scared of physical change because it effects other people's mental change..not just me. I also know I shouldnt care about other people, and for the most part I dont. In all honesty though, I cannot help but care.

I do not even know what I am asking, or what I am trying to say here. Sorry. If anyone has a problem with this post, I will delete it.

botanical gardens

yesterday, me and two of my friends skipped english to go to the botanical gardens in cleveland. here's a few pics one of them took. these are the ones involving my hair anyway. it has gotten long. also, slightly tinted red, as I dyed it with semi-permanent a month ago. it faded out, but there's still a little bit left.

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  • tairae

Vitamin E is my new friend..

So, both of those scabs are almost gone because my friend forced me to put this vitamin e lotion stuff on them. Worked super fast. Now they are just kind of red spots. Bleh...but not big deal.

This beautiful dreadie girl is sitting in the computer lab behind me. I have seen her on campus a bijillion times before and I really want to tell her how gorgeous her hair is, but I don't want to interupt.

I feel odd sometimes, because a lot of dreadhead look at me and smile, but then I fear that others are looking down on me. But how can they, right? That would be bullshit and in that case they really shouldn't be sporting dreads themselves. I guess. I don't know, maybe I just think everyone hates me.

Well, my paper on Ani is finished, so let my break begin! I am going to be doing a bunch of work on my dreads this upcoming week and the majority of my family will be seeing them for the first time (evil big sister and her husband, grandparents who are going to try and cut them off I am sure, Aunties, what have you). So wish me luck with that. Not to rant and rave about nothing..
  • Current Music
    Where is that ancient phone ringing from!?

My messy hair

Hi, I'm a semi-lurker here, only come out during full moon. ;-) But since I enjoy coming here and looking at pics of wonderfully messy hair so much, I thought perhaps it's time I posted a few photos of my own. Dreads are about nine months or so by now, I think.

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thanks mom...

my mom just offered me to get my dreads worked on by a woman where she goes to get her hair done... i spoke to the receptonist and she said the womans does twists and dread matience... these are two very different things... i has mega loops and loose hairs that arnt quite flying with my dad (even though he can joke about it) he told my mom somthing needs to be done before my sisters wedding... hope all goes well saturday afternoon... im to talk to the woman before hand to make sure i understand what she will be doing.
  • Current Mood
    nervous nervous for my hairs!
  • o____0

(no subject)

as i was walking to second hour today there were these girls behind me talking very loudly about dreadlocks.
their conversation went a little like this:

"imagine if you had dreads...that'd be gross"
"yeah...i mean who would want to go for like a year without washing their hair?"

they were saying this loud enough to be sure that i overheard them.

it made me chuckle.
i made my way to class laughing all by my lonesome.

i probably looked insane.
  • Current Music
    tool- opiate

(no subject)

maybe a stupid question but I want to know it:
whats the difference between rasta and dreadlocks?

I know that rastafarians have some kind of religion..something with babylon? But please help me out here :)
thanks in advance!

Winds Of Change

Hhahah! So I wonder if I am the only person, who.. upon a long term relationship breaking up, felt the urging desire to make drastic changes to themselves.

Well, I am sure it is all psychosematic but I'm chopping off the dreads tonight, repeircing my eyebrow, monroe and getting more ink done.

It's like being reborn.

The oddest thing. I'm so glad we're staying friends though.. we never had a problem with love. Just too much for us both to do in this lifetime for us both to be together. Hahah!! Oh well, it was indeed a good 3 years.

  • Current Mood
    creative creative


lol Well i'm a new member i've had my dreads for about 3 months now. Still really messy but still working on them i'm sure they will tighten up nice or at least i hope but i'll just have to wait and see...
  • Current Music
    Mudvayne, Modest Mouse
Plead the FIF!

Policy on spam.

It's hard to tell what is and isn't spam. After all this is a lounge. So if no one comments asking the poster not to spam, or if I don't get any emails... I'm going to let it stay. Less hassle for me.

Also... the panel of perverts judges have requested nudes.

If someone wanted to do a few, feel free but any and all nude pictures MUST go behind a cut saying Not Work Safe.

'Cause there are kiddies here. And adults who'd like to keep their jobs.

Also... I'm cranky. So post happy fun silly pictures to make me happy. Or nudes. Nudes help too.
  • Current Mood
    cranky cranky

(no subject)

i miss my dreads... *sigh* i think i might just let them grow naturally. if i ever get my hair long again. i have a small obsession with cutting my hair to make me feel better.

also. has anyone heard the new bjork album?? im listening to it now. ive had it since the day after i came out. but theres this one song on here thats just so odd. and theres this really weird sound that i cant figure out what it is. the song is ancestors.

ok thats all. bye bye

You people amaze me.

When will you people learn to not pay attention to anything I say??? I mean, really!!!!!

Anyhow, as the official* GUDU busybody, I would just like to remind people of additional LJ rules concerning nudity.

i)Make any nude posts friends-only, so that only GUDU members can read it.

and this one is REALLY important

ii) Make sure that your user info gives a DOB that says that you're older than 18. I cannot stress this enough, MAKE SURE THAT YOUR USERINFO SAYS THAT YOU'RE AT LEAST 18!!! (That means put a year of birth that says you were born in 1986 or before!

That is all.

You people amaze me... and I love it.

*unofficially official, that is.