i had my first ever "cut of my dreads" dream last night... afterwards my hair looked really stupid and terrible so i just walked away from the mirror and was okay with it. when i woke up, i didn't even have to touch my head to know they were still there. <3
also, i am completing my move probably this weekend to penticton, b.c.... do you live there? or near there? because i need some new friends and you should be them.
Who's been asking why I let my dreadies go.
Well. This is quite..
Around last summer, I was really.. err. Not to good about anything. My eating problem was developing, my weight was dropping. FAST. I looked quite thin, if I may say so.
And then my hair started to fall out. I freaked out because I've ALWAYS loved my hair, and I've always had it nice and long. Well, always before I developed this eating problem. I started cutting it and things, I did everything to make myself look thinner.
I know it's lame.
And then I though "DREADS" That's what I did. I made them, and mad them, and made them, I wanted them to look their very best, and I wanted them to be perfect.
And then, 15th of February 2006 my imaginary bubble burst. And now I'm a recovering anorexic? At least I'm working on that part. It's hard. And then I started talking to Eirin. Eirin is a sort of therapist. And she said she would love to see me with normal hair. And I have a friend named Katharina, and I adore her long, thick, gorgeous hair.
And that just made me think. And I realised that all this time, I've had dreads to HIDE something, trying to be something that I wasn't. I realised that I was "fake" in a way, if you understand.
And I said to myself that seeing as everyone who shouldn't know already knew now, there is no point why I should walk around like this. FAKE. But I miss them. I really do. They were a huge part of me.
Maybe I'll dread my hair again someday. and maybe I wont.
Anyways, I met Eirin yesterday, and she was stunned, she couldn't stop running her fingers through my hair, expressing how wonderful she thought I looked. And she found it so special, and then I inspired her to let her hair grow. She's got quite short hair, and she wants her hair to reach down to the bra, on the back. And then she thinks my hair should be on my lower back. We've scheduled a cutting program. We're taking the tips in the end of April, and then we'll see how it goes.
I miss my dreads terribly, but I feel better in a way. I feel more REAL. I'm not at all trying to say that I think dreads are fake, but I didn't have the RIGHT reason to start dreads. And I realise that I Was wrong. And I admit it.
I'm sorry if any of this is inappropriate. And I excuse any spelling errors.