September 2nd, 2008

bear suit

Long Weekends Mean Extra Post Fodder

Once again I was at Whole Foods this past Friday. I had just finished lunch, when...

This dude comes up to me and says, "Hi. I don't mean to be rude, but I would like to ask you about your hair."

That was polite enough, so I said, "Sure thing. What would you like to know?"

He said, "Your hair--is it like that for some political cause?"

I laughed and said, "Cause? Erm... no. The only 'cause' I can think of would be 'cause I didn't cut it or brush it."

Big lulz from the dude. Turns out he's a reporter for a small local newspaper (local to my work area), and he wants to profile me for some reason. I agreed. I'm pretty sure he's gonna be disappointed by what I tell him. I'm not so interesting, really... I just have weird hair by his standards. I have a feeling this profile will not make print. If it does, I'll scan it.

In not-as-funny-or-cute news...
On Monday (yesterday), Xavier's crib mattress came in... to (ick) Wal-Mart. We had to go there to pick it up, and I swear that is the worst place on the planet. The parking lot alone is repulsively dirty and full of stupid people who can't seem to drive or park or even walk through a parking lot without somehow fucking that up. Lots of gawkers and people pointing at us, too... apparently nobody teaches their kids it's impolite to stare or point anymore.

It only gets worse inside the store, where everyone walks slowly in groups of at least seven, gawking at crap they don't need but can't pass up because it is a bargain. Someone I know called them "Walmartians," and I think that's accurate.... and, again, more pointing and staring.

We made a bee-line for the area where they ship stuff (Site to Store?), but we had to pass through the baby area to get there, so we spent some time browsing around and picking up little outfits for Xavier. Sadly, you can see why so many people come to Wal-Mart--the low prices are obviously a big attraction to the store. We are not above paying less for stuff we need, so... We found one little outfit with a bear on it that says "Bear Training Camp"--too cute. We also got crib sheets and other stuff.

Of course, some stupid bitch had to ruin our nice time by walking by in the aisle (with her group of seven idiotic family members) and saying, "Time for a haircut," with a snarky look on her stupid face as her little gang of fucktards giggled and pointed. Not missing a beat, Avy said, "You're an ass. I hope you die." The amount of venom in her voice probably made the guards in front of the store sterile. The woman looked shoked, but she and her gang walked away pretty quickly.

Let that be a lesson to you all--never piss off a pregnant woman. It's a bad idea.

Halloween question

Found nothing about this in the memories, please direct me to the correct place if I'm wrong...

For one of my costumes this year I'm going for a Voo Doo witch doctor (New Orleans, not tribal) and I want it to look like I just rose from the grave. I'm thinking of putting some of that fake webbing and/or talcum/baby powder in my hair. Has anyone ever done this? Think I'll run into any problems with it getting stuck in my hair?