coco_cloe's post made me think about missing my "pre-dreaded" hair and everything that comes along with this journey.
Sometimes, when I look at older photos of myself...
I get nostalgic for my old hair. I sometimes miss the feeling of a brush on my scalp and the silkiness of brushable hair. More often I miss the feeling of JD running his fingers through my hair, but really, when I touch my head or feel a dread brush my neck I remember why I dreaded and I'm content.
I know it seems superficial, since it's really just a hairstyle, but my dreadlocks mean so much more. I have never felt so comfortable in my skin as I do with locks. I started them because I thought they were beautiful and the journey that comes along with them interested me, but I never knew that I would learn so much - that I would see the world's beauty as I do now.
I am much more in touch with nature and the Earth (or Gaia if you will) as well as my own femininity. I see the beauty in myself like I was never able to before. I love my body, my hair, my heart, and my soul (most days, heh BIPOLAR!) - I believe I am better than good enough and that it doesn't matter if I fit the standard of anyone other than myself. I am right the way I am, without any other person's validation.
I have also learned greater patience through dreadlocking. When I had brushable hair I constantly fought with it trying to get it to look "perfect", fighting against it's natural state. I even threw hairbrushes across the room trying to get it to conform to something it never wanted to be. ^_^
I am proud to be dreadlocked and wouldn't change it for all the world. It's been 19 months since a comb touched my hair and I know for most folks they don't understand how all that I've come to appreciate could come from "dirty dreadlocks", (My hair is NOT dirty by the way, it's actually cleaner than yours, believe it or not.) but that's okay, because I understand and that's all that matters.
In short, I love my fucking nappy hair and I love it more and more every single day, and in turn, loving my locks has made me love myself, the world, and even you more. I hope that one day, all of you are able to do the same thing, with or without knots.
♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥