January 13th, 2010

gives me strength

My name is Nicki and I've had my dreadlocks since August 2008. I've been through a lot since then. A lot of personal change and growth. Dreadlocks are something I've always wanted and finally I made peace with myself and did them. As I grew...they grew. Sometimes the thought about cutting them makes me sad and anxious. I think to myself...who am I without these dreads? Is that sad? I don't know. It's just how I feel...I think about how beautiful my hair used to be styled and un-knotty....Sometimes I look at other people and try to remember what my hair was like when it was like theirs...I can't remember sometimes. It feels like I've always had dreads...I remember being dissatisfied with it a lot for some reason. I was always cutting and styling and dying it various shades of oranges and pinks. I was always trying to change it. It's been a year and a half so far, and my dreads are still with me. Sometimes I have nightmares about cutting them off, or them FALLING off. I usually wake up in a panic and feel my head to make sure they're all there. I get a lot of negative comments about them....also some positive. I've cried at the thought of cutting them off. It's like seeing them grow through all these hard times with me is comforting. I've grown so attached to them. I don't know why I can't let them go. I can't give up on them. Its like I made a personal goal for myself. I'm committed to them. And I must see this through. It's like I'm married to them hahaha.

Good times, and bad.

I love you dreadlocks Collapse )
  • Current Mood
    giddy giddy