Almost hating myself, and I hate anyone or anything.
I combed out my dreads this morning.
They itched so bad and I couldn't take it. I scratched and scratched and was still flipping out. Me and itching don't do well, obviously. Also, they smelled like cigarettes smoke and booze. reaked of it. I thought, "Maybe if I wash them, the itch will be gone and so will the smell," so I turned the sink on and scratched and lathered and washed and washed my scalp, letting the shampoo run down to my dreads.
I put a towel on my head, and the itch was gone, so I was happy and itchless.
About 15 minutes later, I take the towel off and look in the mirror. My dreads are completely fucked. I felt my heart sink, and I wanted to scream, but that would be too much seeing as how it was 5:00 in the morning.
Before I knew it, I was tearing up my hair with a comb. Clumps and clumps of crimpy hair filled the bathroom sink, and I felt like a failure.
I lost a lot of hair in the process, but gained an itchless head and a clean head of hair. But now I have zero self confidence, and I'm very, very depressed.
I wish I could go back in time and just deal with the itches. I'd still have a beautiful head of dreadies.
They would have been 22 days old today.
Here are the last pictures of I have of them:
[Drunk on a Friday -- 11/9/07]
[About 2 hours before the wash/comb Tuesday -- 11/14/07]
Even after just a day, I feel like a huge part of me is missing.
Expect to see a new set of dreads very soon. Believe it!