xcorpsekitty (xcorpsekitty) wrote in get_up_dread_up,

9 months! :D

9 months! Woo!
I'm pretty excited.

Pretty recently, i've been under quite a bit of stress due to my relationship and where i'm standing in school. I'm doing well and all, 3.9 GPA, but my class load is ridiculous...and I still need to take more classes on top of that to graduate on time/early. At the time being, i'm taking 16 credit hours.
My classes are 4 hours long each, some 4 hours 20 minutes.
I have 3 classes in 1 day, that's freaking 16 hours of sitting in a classroom being talked at.
And 2 more classes the day after. Going to the Art Institute is no picnic. On top of being in classes all day for 2 straight days, my work load outside of school is hellish. Projects on top of projects, papers, presentations, bleh. Could be worse, but hey.
Really, i'm just stressing because i'm not where I want to be, I should've been graduating this year, but I got a late start.

Anyways...what's really been stressing me out lately, my relationship. All of my life, i've wanted to get go to school, graduate, make money doing what I love, find someone I love, get married, have kids, live. I'm in school, close to graduation (next year), found someone I love...but the rest doesn't seem likely anymore... I've been with this guy for 3 years this year, we've been living together for 2, and I just recently found out that he's against marriage. I don't know what to do. If I wasn't pressed for time, it wouldn't be such a big deal at the moment. But he's graduating this year, and he may end up going back to Germany to find work. I was going to go with him after I graduated (i've always planned on moving to Germany, years before I met him), but if he has no plans to ever get married, my move will be delayed and I won't be going with him. I'm not moving to another freaking country, only having him to depend on, and only be "the girlfriend". That just doesn't sit with me. I want to commit to him...it gives me butterflies thinking of myself with his last name, the idea of having a couple children with him...it's what would truly make me happy. And if he can't give me that, then I feel like i've wasted time with him...I love him and I want to make this work, but i'm just not sure this is something we will ever agree on. He sees marriage as outdated and that he doesn't need some guy in a suit to tell him he's with someone. Personally, I think he's afraid of commitment....
but yeah. I don't know what to do. He's graduating this summer, and i'd hate to have to push him to make a decision right away...especially this early in our relationship.

ANYWAYS, sorry for the rant. I just really needed to get that off of my chest.
If you read this far, I apologize! Here are some photos. :]

I've been aching for a change for a long while, what with everything going on, i've felt like shit. All of my life, i've never EVER cut my hair, just trimmed. So this is new to me, and very refreshing and empowering almost. I've always had long hair...so yesterday, I shaved my side. This may not seem huge to any of you, but it took me a few years to actually take the plunge to dread my hair! Cutting off a section of hair almost down to the scalp was never a thought in my mind up until recently. But as i've mentioned, i've been dying for a change. As little hair as it was, chopping it was like a huge burden lifted.

Also, I got my first "bead"! I found this gem on Etsy. I have a love for all things nautical and having to do with sea creatures and such, so this was an instant buy. The suckers glow in the dark! :D

Again, I apologize for the lengthy rant! I love you all. :]

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